Recovery & the myth of one size fits all
Recovery & the myth of one size fits all
By Katherine “Katie” Williams, LMSW
A counselor once told me that addictions come in 3s. In my case I have found this to be very true. Since I have been in recovery from drugs one of the addictions that has popped up is my addiction to Target. Okay, I may be exaggerating on that one a little bit. I would say I have a shopping addiction in general. However, Target is often one of those “places” in the people, places, and things that tend to trigger my craving to shop. Anyway, the other day I happened to be in Target (yeah, yeah, I know) and I saw a beautiful dress that was a gorgeous shade of magenta. I instantly fell in love. I looked for my size which is XXL. I was so excited to put it on in the fitting room thinking I knew exactly what it would look like. Unfortunately, it looked the opposite of that I thought it would. It did not fit me right at all and in fact I felt uncomfortable in it.
You see, I think the thing that clothing manufacturers get wrong when they make bigger sizes is that they take smaller sized items and assume that if they just make it bigger that it will fit someone who is a larger size. However, that is not taking into consideration the fact that many of us in larger sizes have a different body shape and don’t just need a bigger size – we need a better fit. We need a fit that takes into consideration all of our curves, our unique features, and one that makes us look flattering no matter what size the item is. All that said, I believe that there is no such thing as “one size fits all” and I do not think we should strive for such a thing either!
What if we viewed recovery the same way?
Our life experiences are not “one size fits all”
We all show up in this life with different stories, traumas, both positive AND negative experiences. Some are shared, some are not. Some people experience things in this world that others may never even dream of such as natural disasters, war, or forms of abuse. Even if two people experience the exact same event, they most likely will experience it differently. There are many factors that go into this. Level of personal resilience, biological factors, environmental stress... a conversation for another time 😊 Nonetheless, the healing process for each person is also different.
Our use is not “one size fits all”
In the rooms of Cocaine Anonymous which is a 12-step program, one of the opening texts says “maybe some of us were worse off than you; maybe some of us didn’t hit as low a bottom as you.” That shows us right there that the intensity of use and the “rock bottom” for each person varies. Even if both individuals eventually end up in the same place (in this case, the rooms of C.A.), each person had a different path that got them there. When I was in treatment, I was with people who drank until they passed out. I never drank. Many of my peers never used cocaine and I would binge until I could not even breathe because my nose was so stuffed.
Mental health treatment is not “one size fits all.”
I can say firsthand as a licensed social worker that this is true. When I work at my mental health job I see mental health treatment differ incredibly from individual to individual. Whether it is medication, therapy, holistic methods, or even evidence-based practices, there is no one treatment that is a blanket treatment for mental health recovery. If you look at psychotropic medications and even get as specific as anti-depressants, there are many different medications, dosages, and even types of release into the brain (extended release, delayed, etc.)!
Physical health treatment is not “one size fits all.”
Not every stroke is the same or affects the same regions of the brain. Not every heart attack does the same amount of damage. There is not only one type of cancer. Just like with mental health treatment, there is no ONE pathway or treatment to healing physical ailments because they are not all the same.
Spirituality is not “one size fits all”
What I call God, other people may call Goddess, Source, or Spirit. I go church. Others go to mass, temple, or to a mosque. I read the Bible. Others read the Torah or the Book of Mormon. My relationship with Jesus looks different than the other ladies in my bible study. My spiritual beliefs bring me joy, peace, and comfort. The aforementioned above do the same for followers of other spiritual beliefs and religions. They are not all the same and even in the same set of beliefs, each individual relationship with a higher power will differ.
To say anything is "one size fits all” has the potential to minimize the fact that we are all unique and have unique experiences. Our healing process is just as unique. What happens very quickly for some folks will take years for others. The therapy that works for you may not work for me. Ultimately “how” healing happens is not nearly as important as making sure it does happen and that we have healthy supports who are with us along the way. To learn more about how The Red Songbird Foundation can offer support for you or your loved one, reach out HERE
-Katherine “Katie” Williams, LMSW
Published February 16 2023